Bongolo Lessons, Day 57 – A Day of Good Byes

(I apologize.  I’ve been without internet since starting to travel before dawn Monday morning and have just now gotten Wi-Fi access.)

My last day at Bongolo fell under two categories: final packing and good byes.  Final packing was a lot more time intensive than I thought, because I was taking back more than I expected, even after leaving most of my clothing, work boots, flash lights, safety glasses, gloves, etc., for Paul’s guys.  I placed it on my seat where we all meet every day for prayer and assignments.  They don’t get access to first world items very often, and, even though I’m considerably bigger than all but two of them, I know this will be a blessing to them.  This was a real ‘feel good’ for me.  Thank you, Sally, for turning me onto this concept!  Note to self, bring the next size up suitcase next time!

A second – and surprising – blessing was the act of clearing leftovers out my refrigerator.   What started as pure drudgery turned into great joy.  Two families had invited me to last minute to meals and I was able to give away several complete and partial meals!  It almost felt like a mini ‘fishes and loaves’ experience.  I was stunned how much food was in my fridge! Most of it was local cooking, so the natural recipient was my Gabonese neighbor, Christine, who works in the hospital’s accounting office.  She was thrilled!  The more American items ended up with a few of the missionaries.  For example, the rest of my Seattle’s’ Best decaf coffee and dried mango snack went to Izzi and Renee’.  I love to give things away I thought I would need but didn’t.

The rest of the day, until close to 11:00 pm, was spent visiting and dropping off thank you cards.  Each person on the Station impacted me differently, and I thought it was important to tell them how God worked through them.  This rolling set of good byes started after church with surgical resident Dr. Sam, Amanda and two year old Bela.  I’d gone to the Palm Sunday service with them and they invited me to come to lunch after a short break.  They reminded me of the power of generosity of including me in their life.

I ran into Drs. Zach and Jen, with two year old Caleb on their way back to their house and thanked them for sharing their story with me over meals, leading the jungle hike, and for offering some logistical strategies on how God could bring me back to Bongolo to help in the future.

Siko (a pastor and head of the laboratory) and Delphine (surgery recovery nurse) were next.  They were another example of acceptance and love.  Between the three of us, we could communicate pretty well. Delphine (with Siko) had been bringing me Gabonese meals for the last couple of weeks, and it was with great joy that I gave Delphine back her Tupperware along with an over-sized jar of unopened Peanut Butter I’d brought with me on the well-meaning advice of an experienced friend who was concerned I wouldn’t get enough protein.  Ha!

I finally got that hug from Dr. Izzi, who impacted me beyond my ability to express myself by asking me to help a very sick Mom and her unborn child through donating blood for an emergency C-section delivery.  She also made it possible for me to meet with the two of them two weeks later for a short conversation and a couple of photos.  The three of us will forever be linked.  Also, Izzi included me in some missionary team activities not normally open to visitors, which I really appreciated.  I hope to connect with her when she visits Pittsburgh during the summer during her home assignment.

Dr. Renee’ wasn’t home, but we had pretty much said good bye after she, Izzi and I played cards until late the night before.  Renee’ got me involved with her attempt to save the life of the high school principle ten days earlier.  I felt used by God even though the patient passed away right in front of me.  She’s also going to be in Pittsburgh later in the year to get advanced ultrasound training.

Ophthalmology resident, Dr. Bintu, and her pilot husband Rob are became soul-mates even after such a short period of time.  Rob was in Cameroon servicing the airplane, so I emailed with him, instead talking in person.  Bintu and I chatted and laughed for 20 minutes on their front porch.  She is a passionate, enthusiastic woman who makes you believe more in yourself just by spending time with her.  One of her passions is the worship band and singers at Bongolo Church.  She’s preparing them for a concert in May and loved my idea of a future US tour.  I could see the wheels turning as she considered the possibilities.

Eric and Dr. Wendy Hofman and their three children (Esther, Ely and Hannah – 5, 3, and 1 respectively) truly welcomed me into their home.  I had dinner with them more times than anybody else, and the kids had started calling me, “Uncle Doug” which left me feeling warm all over.  My best memory will be reading Cinderella to Esther while she cuddled up next to me.  I didn’t mind the extra body heat and sweating in the slightest!

Paul and Malodee were both selfless in their own ways.  Malodee, in her role of helping visitors feel more at home, kept me supplied with canned and fresh foods and juices.  She was always cheerful and made me feel welcomed.  Paul – what can I say?  He never once told me to stop asking questions or kicked me out of the truck because he was sick of me.  I’ll never forget the clear and subtle lessons I learned from him, whether it was how to replace the pump on a washing machine, drive the back hoe, lead his men and manage the expectations of everyone who has a repair problem.  I can’t wait for next time so that we can work together, again.

My last good bye was with Dr. Keir Thelander, the amazing Medical Director and Team Leader.  I’d said goodbye to his wife Joanna earlier.  As the head of the Visitor Ministry, she was my point person for lots of things.  Their kids, Luke (13) and Sarah (11) also impacted me because remind me of my kids, Tom and Katie.

It personally makes me sad that Keir and his family are moving to Cleveland in a couple of months to take over leading the PAACS program as Medical Director for all of Africa.  It’s clear that God wants him there, but Keir, along with Paul, are two of the human reasons I came to Bongolo in the first place and it felt very natural to work with both of them.  I like the way he leads and can learn a lot from him.

Keir actually came over at about 8:30 Sunday night and we just talked for a couple of hours.  It was super that he was able to unplug for a bit.  One of several big topics was his response to an earlier question, “How might ACAC (my church) contribute in non-financial ways to Bongolo?”  His considered responses were very encouraging and will be well-received back home.  He also spoke into my life in a couple of very personal ways that also touched me deeply.  We concluded our meeting with prayer – in fact, several of the other good byes involved praying for each other, a very cool custom I’d like to take back to the States with me.

I think the good byes were as impactful on some of the missionaries as they were for me.  They closed this chapter and left doors open for the future.  I left feeling like I’d become part of the family, and that’s a great emotion!

Lessons so far:

Taking the time to intentionally say good bye to everybody individually conveyed the message, “You are important to me.” I’d thought seriously about napping, writing or exercising as part of my last day, but I’m glad I pushed those other activities to the sidelines this time.

Writing out and delivering thank you notes will be part of my life when I get home. I’ve said it before, but this time will be different.  Even though it took quite a bit of time, it was worth every minute.

Giving away food and personal items motivated me to clear out an embarrassing amount of excess at my house. Clothing, furniture, accessories etc., that is just cluttering up my home could be used by others.  I think I’m going to have a ‘come take things’ event of some kind and then take the rest to a thrift store or simply hauled away.

Sometimes you get surprised by things people will say to you when you say good bye, things you needed to hear but never expected to. Thank you, God!

 To Ponder:

How might I aggressively give things away to people who need them more?

Affirmation:

I am generous and other people oriented!

Bongolo Lessons, Day 57 – Things I’ll Miss

At the half way point of this adventure, I took time out to reflect on my experience so far.   I also jotted down some things about home in the States that I either missed or didn’t.  Now that I’m nearing the end of this adventure, I’d like to repeat that exercise, this time from the perspective of leaving my new home at Bongolo Hospital:

I Won’t Miss….  (but am pleased with how well I’ve adapted to living with:)

• Cologne de Bug Spray. Deet and I will not be on speaking terms until Pittsburgh’s mosquitoes come out to play.
• Concentrating on not scratching new bug bites and applying tiny dabs of Benadryl.
• Intense sweating when doing anything physical.
• Sweating through my jeans most days.  Wet denim is harder to move in!
• The persistent hum of ceiling and box fans (thank God for them, though!!).
• Slow internet. 
• So many bugs and ants.

I’ll Miss…

• The people, both many locals and the Missionaries. I’ve been blessed to form dozens of new relationships and the beginnings of likely long-term friendships.  It seems like our conversations have just reached new plateaus and I’m leaving.
• Leading Paul’s crew of eight men. They’ve been a blessing to me.
• Working with Paul. I’ve learned so much from him.
• The unbelievably fresh air. Only on the far western edge of Washington state overlooking the Pacific Ocean have I ever breathed anything similar.
• The heat and humidity (I can’t believe I’m saying this!). I’ve taken to this weather like a fish to water.  Somebody pinch me?
• My incredibly healthy skin and finger/toenails. I can’t believe the change.
• Exotic birds waking me up every morning from my incredibly comfortable bed and pillows.
• The just now beginning opportunities to branch out into the local communities.
• Speaking French every day, even though it’s baby talk for now. Between lots of practice, incredibly patient French speakers, and Google Translate, I manage to understand enough and get my points across.
• The adventure of living in the remote jungle.

I’m Grateful For…

• Deet insect repellent (I know, I know…believe me, it’s a complex relationship…).
• That, in spite of my head full of sand, God arranged every aspect of my life for the year prior to my living and working here for two months.
• How much I’ve grown in my faith since arriving at Bongolo.
• I can’t say this enough: the financial and emotional support of my family, friends and church family. You made this experience possible!
   

Lessons so far:

Keeping track of things I’ll miss, etc., is a great exercise for everyday life.
Reflecting on how I’ve changed fuels future growth.
It’s amazing how easily I’ve settled in here in spite of major First and Third World differences. I’m pretty sure there are two reasons for this.  The first is I’m where God wants me to be at this point in my life.  And the second is that I spent weeks mentally and emotionally preparing as best I could to enjoy the differences.  I’m starting to do the same in reverse as part of getting ready to head home.

To Ponder:  

How would I answer the three questions in this posting as it relates to my current life’s adventure?

Affirmation:  

My heart and mind are centered on where I am right now!

Bongolo Lessons, Day 56 – Miscellaneous Observations and Experiences, #4

Here are a few more people, places and things I’ve observed and pondered about.  They are still in no particular order:

• This seemingly reserved people absolutely light up when I wave at them from the truck or nod and greet them in French or Yinzebe, the local tribal language.
• Gabonese people out and about seem to walk very slowly.
• Native men stop and pee on the side of any road whenever the urge is upon them. It almost doesn’t matter where or who’s around.  I’m not sure what the women do.
• Cooking over open wood fires is pretty normal. It’s also normal to see mostly women canvassing for wood to burn.
• At the mission, our gas stoves are converted to use large butane tanks, a cousin of propane.
• Small numbers of chickens, goats and sheep wander everywhere, except for the hospital compound.
• Sheep do not have fluffy wool here – they look just like the little goats. In fact, they’re pretty hard to tell apart.
• I’ve been told there are two ways to tell apart sheep and goats. One is that sheep ears are down and goat ears are up.  The second is that goat tails are always down and goat tails are always up.  I think the second is the correct one.
• The dirt everywhere is a rusty red. Most of my clothing is highlighted in this color, now.
• The Gabonese I’ve seen so far all look well fed. I’m not sure how good their nutrition is, however.  The typical person eats a lot of bread, rice and manioc root to feel full.  I haven’t been able to figure out if Paul’s men eat during lunch.  They disperse and do their own thing.
• Gabonese skin has a brown-reddish tint to their near black coloring. It’s very different from anything I’ve seen and I like it.
• The Gabonese attitudes I sensed both in Labamba and at the hospital are very similar to some inner city attitudes I’ve been around.
• Other than the money the government gives most families, there is other welfare support system, so families take care of each other. For example, it is culturally expected that if a family member asks for money, it is to be given to them, even if they are taking advantage of somebody.
• The only acceptable way (I’ve heard so far) to NOT give money to a family member is to invest it into gradually, over years and years, building a retirement house which they will eventually move into. Partially finished homes are everywhere and nobody has cash on hand.
• It’s interesting that many of the houses are half finished instead of mostly in ruins!
• Gabonese are great singers. Everything I’ve heard about African singing is true!
• I’ve only seen a couple of bicycles.
• Very few people own cars, and the ones I’ve seen are typically older and beaten up. Considering the rutted dirt roads and limited mechanics, that’s no real surprise.  What was a surprise was the gorgeous modern black Mercedes coupe I saw the other day!
• ‘Mass transit’ is made up of a loose system of individually owned cars, minivans and SUV’s called taxis. But, they’re more like buses because they follow specific routes and transport as many people as possible at one time.  The ‘clown car’ analogy is pretty accurate.
• I haven’t been able to determine if there is a larger taxi route ownership system. There’s certainly nothing like ‘Yellow Cab’ – it seems more like Uber.  It certainly wouldn’t surprise me.  Fortunately, I haven’t had to take one.
• Local construction laborers are very similar to similar labor in US. They are rougher and louder.  They also work very hard!  Extremely manual labor.
• The difference is that they all are very happy to wave and say, ‘Hi!’
• Nearly all of the shops and stores are owned and operated by foreigners. Typically, they are Muslims.
• Muslims are still a smaller percentage of the population in our region
• When shopping for small items, it is traditional to say how much you want to spend and they give that value to you. For example, if I want to purchase little fresh-fried donut bits, I tell the seller I want 500 CFA worth (a little less than a US dollar).
• Very few of the street vendors in Lebamba have change. I guess they don’t need it due to the system.
• I’ve been surprised that there is virtually no haggling as part of the shopping culture.
• The overall crime rate is very low. This city boy continues to be amazed that I can safely leave my key in the ignition, or leave tools and materials in the exposed back of the truck, even when in town.
• At first, I wasn’t certain that I wasn’t being taken advantage of. Prices sometimes rise if you’re white – especially if you don’t know any better AND don’t speak French.
• After my first street vendor shopping experience, I’ve made it a policy to only go shopping for fresh food items with a French speaker! The stores are OK because prices are clearly marked and they show me the calculator total.

Lessons so far:

1. It’s really smart to hang out with people who know what the heck is going on. This is especially beneficial when you’re new to a place or situation.
2. Rural small-town living has lots of benefits – sense of community, low crime rates, people watching out for you to a certain extent.
3. Stereotypes don’t have to be true. The low crime rate and total lack of racial or tribal violence in this region is wonderful.  I have felt very safe since settling in.
4. People are people. The interesting thing is that as soon as I began to say ‘Hi!’, in French, of course, the response has been consistently warm and a little overwhelming. I love feeling welcomed instead of like an unwanted intruder.
    

To Ponder:  

How many of these echo of life in America?

Affirmation:  

I love to learn and observe over time so I can get a full picture!

Bongolo Lessons, Day 55 – Miscellaneous Observations and Experiences, #3

I’d like to share some observations about the local people.  I find it really interesting to look for similarities to back home, as well as to absorb the sometimes striking cultural differences.  When discussing this, it wouldn’t be accurate to simply say ‘Gabonese’ because this area is quite a melting pot of other central African countries especially Mali, it seems.  The other thing I need to be careful of is that I’ve only been here for a couple of months.  There’s no way I can know this culture in any depth.  Finally, Bongolo is a rural jungle hospital and the people around here are rural, small town folk.  I have absolutely no idea what the differences in a city would be!

All of that said, here are some random observations about people, places and things:

• People here are very image conscious. Those in their 30’s and up typically wear their better clothes out in public, whether shopping, at the hospital, or visiting.
• Men traditionally wear long dress slacks and a long sleeved shirt. I don’t know how they stand the heat, but I guess it’s what you’re used to!
• Most women wear colorful Gabonese full length skirts or dresses, similar to American sun dresses, but longer.
• This ‘dress code’ is changing with the younger generation, unfortunately. Younger men often wear jeans and t-shirts, and some of the younger women wear skinny jeans and tights underneath a skirt.  They are becoming more westernized.  I’m more traditional in this area; I like the dressier look.
• Most of the ‘modern’ clothing looks as if it has come from thrift stores in Europe. That’s not a judgement statement.  90% of my clothing comes from thrift stores.  First World thrift stores, that is.  Back home, I’ve often seen bundled ‘bricks’ of clothing at my big thrift store – stuff they can’t sell – and wondered where it goes.  Now I know: it’s sold to distributors in third world countries.  It makes me sad.
• I have only seen one or two people smoking, and that was in Lebamba. None of the stores I’ve been to have a cigarette section like at an  American super market.  I don’t know where those who smoke get them and, while I’ve been thrilled not to smell burning tobacco, I’m not sure why so few people smoke, other than poverty.
• Alcohol is a problem in the surrounding villages and Lebamba, like most places. There are tons of corner bars where they sell beer and maybe some liquor.  I haven’t been in any, so I’m not exactly sure (not the missionary thing!).
• I have not seen any tattoos, yet, except on the upper back of one of the resident (student) surgeon’s wives. Yes, she’s American…
• I can’t tell if the local construction workers swear – my French hasn’t gone in that direction! However, they can be loud with each other, tease a lot and look at passing women (no hooting, however!).
• People have a greater chance of contracting Malaria if they become run down or otherwise sick. I’ve never needed a more persuasive reason for self-care!!
• There’s a stereotype of the ‘lazy Gabonese’ that I’ve been trying to unravel. I’ve been told by several people that there are three main reasons Gabonese, in general, are not very hard working or entrepreneurial by other standards.  The first is that Gabon is relatively wealthy due to oil exports.  Years ago, the government began handing out oil profits to every adult, similar to Alaska’s program.  The following generations have grown up not needing to work, but reliant on the government’s generosity – sound familiar?  The current generation now needs to work more because oil prices are down.  The second reason is Gabonese value relationships and personal image over nearly anything else.  If you have money and a relative asks you for it, it is expected you will give what you have. I thought this was absurd, but then I thought about life back home… A possible third reason is that most people only do just enough to get by.  Sounds familiar.
• There are a number of larger employers around. Bongolo Hospital is by far the largest, however.  Many people work on farms, at schools, for the government, for various small businesses, etc.
• Many other people survive by subsistence farming, their government check and whatever other work they can get.
• Household help is common. They are paid about $1 per hour.
• Construction laborers are paid about $1 per hour, as well.

As I’ve noted these items over the last two months, I can’t help but reflect on how many remind me of home, just packaged differently.  Hmm…

Lessons so far:

1. Intentionally looking for interesting details around me is fun!
2. I learn an awful lot by asking good questions and listening.
3. I find I do a lot less talking than I used to unless there’s a natural give and take. People are quick to answer pretty much every question, but are often slow to ask me things.
4. While I’m happy people have clothing available, I’m saddened that their western attire is made up of clothing thrift stores couldn’t sell. Cast-offs of cast-offs.

To Ponder:  

How well have I observed things about people, places and things in my life?

Affirmation:

Curiosity is great!